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Can I explain her?? -1

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Sunday, 13 November 2011

Someone, searching in my silence

asked me, "Can you explain her?"

I smirked and wondered at once,

'Coz she is very hard to decipher.

As I know no language available

in which I can explain,

and these prose, verse and poems

are not sufficient to contain.

Yet a try is what I am worth of

to brush her on my sheet

despite the fact, even her aura,

with my penning is difficult to beat.

 


Name It

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Saturday, 12 November 2011

They asked me not to die daily in a thought

So, I wore this fake smile; as it hid a lot

My pain which found way in my poem’s solace

And these tears flowed through pen, to surface.

Those watching me die, asked me yet again

“Why are you so desperate about this thing?”

And I could only look them with disdain.

 

I wish I could explain myself to them

Defend my feeling against desperation before them

I am in a dilemma, what to call this feeling

Despite being in people, this desolation is killing.

Their faces hover around me, asking me the same

“Why are you so desperate about this thing?”

I am unable to give detail and that seems lame.

 

I wish these tears could hold their way back,

But they flooded my dreams and turned them black

 

My eyes seek only you, no other person I want to see,

My soul is turning restless, it really wants to flee

But they wonder my silence, and ask me to explain,

“Why am I so desperate about this thing?”

And I whisper in the air, you are a bullet in my brain.

 

I wish I could tell you, I am still wandering in your thought

No moment is off my head; I still care about you a lot

They keep asking me the same question again and again

I just say I don’t know how to name it, but I feel the pain

I don’t care about any of those questions, but mine

We spent not much of the time together but,

Doesn't a moment with me in your head ever shine?

 

This might reach you the way I wanted to

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Friday, 28 October 2011

I wanted to be on my knees, holding your pretty hand,

Staring into your deep eyes, just enough for my nerve to withstand,

I wanted to speak my heart out, all clean and clear,

Then a pause and a stress on “I LOVE YOU DEAR”!!

I wanted to reach out to you like no one else did,

But I had to skip this, and my moments remained vivid.

Now I hope this poem might reach you the way I wanted to.

 

I wanted you to feel me beside, when we were on phone,

A sweet thought of me in your head when u felt alone.

I wanted to have you by me, near me day and night,

Telling me the stories around you, till morning’s light.

I wanted to talk to you like no one else did,

But I couldn’t, I myself found my thought stupid.

Now I hope this poem might talk to you the way I wanted to.

I wanted you to laugh out loud on my unintentional jokes

Your beautiful sarcastic smile to increase my strokes

I wanted to be the one who wipes off your tears

The one you like to get hold of when you run over by fears

I wanted to make you smile like no one else did

But couldn’t, was busy explaining my tears when you hit and hid.

Now I hope this poem might keep you smiling the way I wanted to.

I wanted to walk with you under the silver light of the moon

Sing a melody and dance with you under the clouds of monsoon

I wanted to lie to you about nothing, fight with you for nothing

Call you every now and then for nothing and talk to you nothing

I wanted to do all these silly things like no one else did

But couldn’t, you never understood my stance and forbid

Now I hope this poem might do things, the way I wanted to.

I wanted to steal you from yourself, hide you deep in me,

guard you round the clock, where no one else can see.

I wanted to add you in my life, spend the rest of it with you,

walk with you till the end, never abandon you even if i want to.

I wanted to live with you like no one else did,

but couldn't, fate didn't cope with my plans yet, so it undid.

now I hope this poem might live with you the way I wanted to.

 

The day I met with an Accident!!!!

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Sunday, 23 October 2011

The day when pain dominated my chest,

concealing that, my aggression working at its best.

wanted to avoid my second best thing, but my adrenaline rushed,

tried to keep myself intact, yet that thing flushed.

The moment I touched it, I was called upon by speed,

one mistake any time, a bed and a room guaranteed.

I was charged up though, never was worried about the consequence,

deal with the moment and the moments thereafter, was always been my sequence.

All geared up, engine throttled to the maximum, felt like God,

but lately, I am being in two places, mind off to a cod.

Yet on road, I gathered all attention, as I rumbled,

and the one who didn't notice this, came my way and i tumbled.

It was my unconscious which activated some neural, which misfired,

I gathered my consciousness on a bed, which was being hired.

They pinched in a unit square inch of my backside, that is all I remember,

but with every hit they made, something shouted inside me, as I encumber.

I can see only a face and me roaming around it, in the darkness of ail,

the very next sight of blood brought me back to reality, skin turned pale.

No part I can feel, but can feel some blood dripping in my vas,

ran my eyes through but all those lying by my side, a silent mass.

I was getting impatient, couldn't hold my heart there for long,

I hated that smell around me, I hated that place where I do not belong.

 

I will try not to fail, MOM

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Saturday, 15 October 2011

A better person I tried to be, mom

but this world is not for those like me

cared about every person as you told, mom

but nobody cared about me.

 

I tried not to let myself down, mom

but they dragged me down every time

with a smile I tried everything, mom

but they swept it like a rime.

 

I found this world as you told me, mom

no friend is likely to be a friend

but when i thought i found one, mom

she couldn't wait until I mend.

I started hating myself, mom

for what I am, for what I have become

I am not what I was then, mom

she is my new dimension, became my best chum.

I don't want to blame you for my feelings, mom

but I regret myself for having that gene

It bind me with the hope to hope, mom

always uses heart, never let me use my bean.

hold my hand for a while, mom

till I gather my pace

I will try not to fail, mom

I definitely will get back in race.

 

कहीं गुम है

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Monday, 26 September 2011

जज़्बात है इतने पर उनकी मंज़िल कहीं गुम है,

धुन एक हसीन है और सरगम कहीं गुम है|

दर्द छुपा है दिल में, होठों पर एक हंसी है,

खुशियां कहीं गुम है तो आँखों में वो नमी है|

इतना कुछ कहना है तुमसे पर अल्फाज् कहीं गुम है,

कहते हो पास हो मेरे पर एहसास कहीं गुम है|

भटक्ता रहा हूं दर बदर, मेरी डगर कहीं गुम है,

जिंदा हूँ सिर्फ में पर ज़िंदगी मेरी कहीं गुम है|

दूरी क्यूं बढती नहीं बढाने से, कैसी यह कशिश है,

प्यार है सिर्फ तुमसे पर कैसी यह रंजिश है|

आवारा तो हूँ नहीं मगर होश कहीं गुम है,

पल दो पल याद मेरी और चाहत तेरी कहीं गुम है|

अकेला हूँ में मगर तनहाई कहीं गुम है,

ख्वाब इतने बुन चुका हूँ की सच्चाई कहीं गुम है|

प्यार तेरा भूल गया दिल पर ये कैसी बंदगी है,

हर जगह तेरी कमी है अब कैसी ये ज़िंदगी है|

दिल मचल रहा है भीतर क्योंकि धडकन कहीं गुम है,

मोहब्बत है भरी सीने में पर सांसे कहीं गुम है|

 

एक चेहरा

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Friday, 23 September 2011

सुबह शाम एक चेहरा मेरे दिल में है जो,

रातों को ख्वाब मेरे सजाता है.

दीवाना बना के इस तरह वो,

नाम अपना इन लबों पे सजाता है.

चाहत के आलम को अंजाम देकर वो,

खुशियों का घर मेरा सजाता है.

अपनी मंद मुस्कुराहट से वो,

दिल में मदहोश धुन एक सजाता है.

वो एक चेहरा सुबह शाम,

रातों को ख्वाब मेरे सजाता है.

 

Missing YOU so much

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Sunday, 11 September 2011

So much to share, so much to tell,

Life without you here, is living hell.

Standing at the window, looking over my reflection,

It is raining tears, hoping for your recognition.

Walking all the way down in an alley,

feet so heavy, There is no scope for rally.

Even a kilometer feels like a mile,

without you, this living seems futile.

Days are stretching itself, nights are now darkening,

Imagining a day far from you anymore, is little frightening,

Staring at the moon, as if diving in your eyes,

jealous of your star companions, near you they lies.

though no pain is sweet enough to bear,

But my heart is sinking, sending SOS to clear,

I'm waiting very long, missing you so much,

Please come back, end this pain as such.

 

My SHADOW

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Saturday, 10 September 2011

In the shadow of my heart, it lies,

a world, amazingly beautiful and suffice.

Where the warmth of the sun tickles

and the darkness in the night fickle's.

Where doing small mistakes are fair,

and my kiss tells how much I care.

Where time flows like the sand,

and my world stands, when you hold my hand.

Where length of moments increases while waiting,

and on that, we make no sense in arguing.

where your smile, whenever, is at stake,

and your pain becomes my sole headache.

Where you lies in my arms listening to the air I breath,

and to the rhythm of my heart beat.

Where your laughter is the only music,

And to keep that, I will have words in my attic.

Where I loose myself in the depths of your eyes,

and the level of depth, which my love defies.

Where in my dream, you are the shard,

And you roll when I act like retard.

Where these moments of life, somewhere, hides,

and the feelings, in the shadow of my heart, resides.

 

Ask these TEARS .....

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Thursday, 1 September 2011

We were good, she was just an acquaintance,

with each chat, we scaled down our distance.

she brought me a mess, i went into the hole,

never repented my decision, heard to my soul.

tried hard to pull her out, But i wasn't adept,

set about to make my exit, so I did crept.

we weren't ready for the farewell, came to terms,

I made my heart open and she confirms.

she turned out to be the only thing i cared around,

panicked, whenever, noticed trouble in her sound.

we fought insanely, over the matters, so silly,

never stood long on issues, we retrieved daily.

when she not surfaced one day, my nerve couldn't take,

wanted to know her where about, didn't back down from doing a mistake.

Ask these tears now, Why did they come out??

and was wiped, when she came back to shout.

I shared all of my life with her, all feelings possible,

for this intimacy, i don't know what was responsible.

It might have been the time we have spent together,

It might have been the space we have given to each other.

then what went wrong, i had no damn clue,

mistakes in those situations, i can admit few.

lost her trust on me, my world shattered,

It's all she I cared about, Nothing else mattered.

Days became painful, nights were hopeless,

the time I spent waiting for her, was limitless.

Ask these tears now, why did they come out??

dried on my face, she didn't come, and nobody cared about.

she disappeared into the light, left me solitary,

withstood, broken terribly inside, turned frippery.

ask these tears why did they come out??

she left, and my whole world blacked out!!!!!!

 

She was the best thing i could ever have

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Whenever, I got to listen to the love birds,

to their spirits, their agony and to their words.

my mind stood still at one question, everytime.

Why do they call it love??

wondered, questioned, strayed through this thought.

until, in the so called void, i was caught.

Found its meaning, twined in its feeling,

spent some time and everything started appealing.

It was my eyes which stuck when she smiled,

It was my pain, for promises, I failed.

cared, beared, steered myself through,

until, the feeling in me, I felt true.

When i got drunk and she pulled my cheek,

I looked upto her and I felt her unique.

that is what is love and love entails,

and with pain is all that is left, when love fails.

Cried, yelled, shouted on my fate,

nothing bothered, i was already very late.

It was my anger, when i saw tears off her eyes,

It was my quisciness to control those cries,

She was my immortal, reason to exist, feel as if

She was the best thing i could ever have,

Implored, begged, prayed to the god for union

Until, she said begone, you are not that one.

 

Voyage, to other END

By Shiv Kumar Chintapalli on Sunday, 21 August 2011

Satisfied with life, and happiness prevailed,

Calm was my world and my ship sailed.

No hopes, No limits to which i was bound,

No emotions, No ail which hung me around.

But life had another plan, insane,

met few people down the lane.

connected, hooked, anchored to their dock,

unbeknownst, i became a livestock.

captivated by my thought, I lost my peace,

they took it all i had, piece by piece.

Held on to my mind, they took me high,

then left me falling and watched me die.

All this time, smile used to be my ally,

lost in this voyage, tormented, i cannot deny.

with pieces shattered all over, it is hard to sail,

the sea is very calm, just waiting for the gale.

 

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